Do you really know how to Get Over It?
Just when you think you cannot stand to talk about it one more second, you start telling your tales of woe and trauma all over again. A fresh set of ears so you can start the saga again. Do you catch yourself doing this? Have you ever noticed this in other people?
I have! I have done it! What I know is that if I am still talking about it and waiting for someone to have an emotional response to my situation…then I am NOT OVER IT!
What is important to recognize is that every time the story is repeated, the nervous system reengages wrapping around the trauma one more time. The nervous system is then unable to let go so the immune system starts to get weaker. The unresolved issue can manifest a physical ailment like tension, headaches, anxiety, colds, digestive problems, and the list continues until you manifest a terminal or chronic condition.
When you do not have to tell your story to solicit the other person’s compassion, sympathy, empathy, or outrage, and you tell it without charging up your own emotions then you are over it. I am not saying you should never utter another word about it, quite the contrary, try telling the story as if you were a detached third-party observer. If you succeed, you are over it and it is okay to tell it. In addition, when your story has an inspirational ending, shout it from the rooftops.
The big question remains: how do you get over it? Well that is different for everyone. As a coach, I like to let the person roll with it and then I ask, “What do you need to have happen in order to let go of this…?” Hearing the same story continually, prompts me to ask if they know they are stuck in the situation.
Now, ask yourself some important questions: Is this situation worth my own demise? Is this situation something I want to have rule me for the rest of my life? If I cannot get over it on my own, am I willing to find help? Am I truly willing to let it go?
Are you willing to let go? The next step is to process the unresolved issues by journaling, exercising, meditation, or professional assistance. Then close the door, walk away, and GET OVER IT!